2023 Oscars EXTRAVAGANZA!

Every Oscar nominated film I saw, ranked and rated

Hello and welcome to my 2023 Oscars EXTRAVAGANZA! In this list, I will rank and rate every film I saw that was nominated for an Oscar in any category. 

I understand that the purpose of art is not to compare it against all the other art, but to enjoy and appreciate it for what it is individually. That being said, I hope this list serves as a jumping-off point to watch a few films that may have slipped past your radar. 

Please note there are a few exceptions on this list that I wasn’t able to see in time, notably The Fabelmans, All Quiet On The Western Front and The Whale.

For ease, I ranked each movie out of a possible five stars. All the films are divided into their respective star rankings. This is my ranking rubric:

• Two Stars: Bad. While some things may be good, overall I found too many negative aspects about the film to enjoy it. 

• Three Stars: Good. Watchable but missing an element that would heighten it even more.

• Four Stars: Great. An interesting film with some standout or original cinematic elements.

• Five Stars: A masterpiece. Will gladly watch it a thousand times.

Two Stars 

17. Top Gun: Maverick 

Nominated for six Oscars, including Best Song (HOLD MY HAAAAAND) and Best Picture

It’s literally propaganda for the US military lol.

Will it win? I love you Lady Gaga, but please God, no.

16. Avatar: The Way of Water 

Nominated for four Oscars, including Best Visual Effects and Best Production Design 

James Cameron’s long-awaited sequel is a three-hour visual stunner, particularly the sequences set in the ocean. However, the plot is dumb and the overall vibe is embarrassingly corny. Shout out to Edie Falco who showed up to get that cheque and then completely wiped her brain of this movie ever existing.

Will it win? Predicted to win for Best Visual Effects, which I agree with, although it does take a potential win away from my beloved Batman.

15. Black Panther: Wakanda Forever 

Nominated for five Oscars, including Best Costume Design and Best Supporting Actress 

Although the performances from Angela Bassett, Letitia Wright and Lupito Nyong’o are excellent, Wakanda Forever simply has the burden of too much weight on its shoulders. Following the passing of Chadwick Boseman in 2020, the Black Panther sequel was re-written without its signature lead. While the film pays incredible respect to the late actor, the plot is a bloated, convoluted mess with an extremely underwhelming final battle sequence and an objectively terrible Rihanna song. Namor, however, IS incredibly sexy. 

Will it win? While Angela Bassett was pegged as an early winner for Best Supporting Actress, recent wins at other awards shows for Jamie Lee Curtis and Kerry Condon mean the trophy could go to anyone. In spite of five nominations, there’s a high possibility Wakanda Forever goes home without anything.

Three Stars 

14. The Banshees of Inisherin 

Nominated for nine Oscars, including Best Original Screenplay and Best Picture 

I might be the only person in the world who saw The Banshees of Insisherin and thought, “Meh!” 

Will it win? Banshees was initially pushed as a frontrunner in many categories, but might only win Best Supporting Actress. It’s giving what happened last year with The Power Of The Dog to me.

13. Women Talking 

Nominated for Best Picture and Best Adapted Screenplay  

Based on the Miriam Toews novel of the same name, Women Talking is about a group of Mennonite women discussing if they should stay or leave after they endured a series of horrific sexual assaults committed by men in their community. My main problem with this adaptation is that it felt more like a play than a film, with the dialogue feeling stilted and clearly lifted from the novel. Likewise, while I understand the creative decision to desaturate the colours to reflect the characters’ emotional state, overall I found this made the visuals too dark and hard to see. However, the way Women Talking handles the topic of sexual violence with such care, compassion and empathy is a truly remarkable feat and I think that director Sarah Polley should be highly commended for that.

Will it win? Women Talking has the potential to win for Best Adapted Screenplay, although the race is heated between that, All Quiet On The Western Front and Living, the latter of which was written by acclaimed British novelist Kazuo Ishiguro. 

Four Stars 

12. Guillermo del Toro’s Pinocchio

Nominated for Best Animated Feature 

Guillermo del Toro’s Pinocchio is a reimagined version of the wooden boy who comes to life. Given the director’s past films, it should come as no surprise that the movie takes on difficult topics such as fascism and war. Oh, and it’s a musical! The animation is beautiful, the songs are excellent and the emotional weight is strong. Fun trivia: Cate Blanchett voices the monkey.

Will it win? Currently pegged to win for Best Animated Feature, although it could also go to Turning Red or Marcel The Shell.

11. Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery 

Nominated for Best Adapted Screenplay 

Gay detective Benoit Blanc is back to solve another case. I thought this Knives Out sequel was an incredibly silly whodunnit and liked it even more than the original. Janelle Monáe CRUSHED it. Movies can be fun!!!

Will it win? Not in a billion years lol. 

10. Triangle of Sadness 

Nominated for three Oscars, including Best Original Screenplay and Best Director 

Set on a luxury cruise, Triangle of Sadness is an interesting critique of privilege and class. While it’s incredibly funny, I thought the political messaging was slightly reductive at times and found the pacing very uneven. However, the performances are excellent and that scene (you know the one) is one of my favourite cinematic moments from last year. 

Will it win? Although it’s nominated for three awards, the most likely outcome is that Triangle of Sadness walks away with nothing.

9. All The Beauty and the Bloodshed 

Nominated for Best Documentary Feature 

All The Beauty and the Bloodshed focuses on celebrated American bisexual photographer Nan Goldin. She’s famous for her photos of queer counterculture in the ‘70s, ‘80s and ‘90s, as well as for her activism during the AIDS crisis and presently in the ongoing opioid crisis. The film intersperses her life story with her current battle against the Sacklers, the billionaire family who owns Purdue Pharma, which is largely responsible for making drugs like Oxycontin so widely prescribed despite their addictive nature. While the pacing is slow at times, All The Beauty and the Bloodshed is a deeply impactful look at the link between the personal and the political, as well as the importance of collective organizing. WATCH THIS MOVIE!!!!!

Will it win? The documentary race is currently wide open, so it has a shot!

8. Turning Red 

Nominated for Best Animated Feature 

It’s impossible for me to watch a Pixar movie without crying my eyes out and Turning Red is no exception. The film follows Mei, a pre-teen Chinese-Canadian girl living in Toronto. As the result of a generational curse, she starts turning into a giant red panda when her pubescent emotions get out of control. Turning Red is a super sweet depiction of nerd girlhood, friendship and family and features the best fictional boy band since DuJour. AWOOGA!

Will it win? Maybe!

7. Marcel The Shell With Shoes On 

Nominated for Best Animated Feature 

I started crying a minute into Marcel The Shell With Shoes On and then didn’t stop. The movie follows a tiny shell named Marcel as he tries to become reunited with the rest of his family. His Nana, Connie, is voiced by Isabella Rossellini and her character arc will have you WEEPING. This is not the first children’s movie to be about kindness and grief, but it’s definitely one of the best. Just watch it, okay?! 

Will it win? Maybe!

Five Stars 

6. Fire of Love

Nominated for Best Documentary Feature 

Imagine if Wes Anderson made a documentary about two 1960s French volcanologists who were married. That’s Fire of Love! This film tells the story of Katia and Maurice Krafft, two scientists who shared an intense passion for volcanoes and each other. Drawing from their beautifully archival footage, it’s one of the most visually stunning documentaries I’ve ever seen. At one point, Maurice tries to canoe down a river of lava. Miranda July is the narrator?! 

Will it win? The documentary race is pretty even, so it might!

5. The Batman 

Nominated for three Oscars, including Best Sound and Best Visual Effects 

RATTLE THE CAGES! I’ve already written at length about my unexpected love for The Batman, which I consider to be the perfect blend of mainstream and arthouse cinema. I honestly think it was robbed by the Academy, as was Jordan Peele’s Nope, which didn’t garner a single nomination. It’s literally a crime against humanity that Greig Fraser, who won last year for his work on Dune, wasn’t nominated for Best Cinematography. The Oscars are stupid, actually. 

Will it win? It kills me inside that this is probably going to lose to fucking AVATAR and TOP GUN.

4. Elvis 

Nominated for eight Oscars, including Best Actor, Best Picture and Best Costume Design 

Elvis forgoes the usual rock biopic beats in favour of being a balls-to-the-wall outlandish camp spectacle. This movie is a firework exploding in the sky and the sheer force of a pelvis as it thrusts through the air. It contains some of the best accent work you will ever hear directly alongside some of the worst. For some reason, a Doja Cat song plays during a sequence set in the ‘50s. It’s good, it’s bad, it’s ridiculous, it’s perfect and I love it so, so, so much.

Will it win? Odds are heavily in favour for Elvis to win for Best Costume Design, as well as Best Makeup and Hairstyling, which it very much deserves. If Austin Butler wins for Best Actor, I think God might be real.

3. Tár

Nominated for six Oscars, including Best Original Screenplay, Best Actress and Best Editing

Abuse of power comes as no surprise, lesbians included. Todd Field’s Tár showcases the downfall of a fictional composer named Lydia Tár, played by Cate Blanchett. The ultra-intelligent script shows how people in high positions often exploit the influence they have over others in ways both big and small. Blanchett’s performance is two-and-a-half hours of pure sicko mode. I’m still trying to figure out how to buy a copy of Tár on Tár.

Will it win? Although it has many nominations, the only real shot Tár has at winning is in the Best Actress category, where it’s a complete toss-up between Blanchett and Michelle Yeoh. 

2. Everything Everywhere All At Once 

Nominated for 11 Oscars, including Best Picture, Best Directing, Best Editing, Best Actress and Best Supporting Actor 

Everything Everywhere just might be the first and last movie to feature something called “hot dog fingers.” This multi-genre film explores the idea of the multiverse through Evelyn Wang, a Chinese-American immigrant mother being audited by the IRS, who learns that she must hop timelines in order to keep the entire universe alive. The performances from Michelle Yeoh, Stephanie Hsu and Ke Huy Quan are all incredible, as is the editing and production design. It’s surreal, serious and sweet all at once (see what I did there?)

Will it win? EEAAO is pegged to win at least six awards, including Best Picture, Best Director and Best Supporting Actor. 

1. Aftersun 

Nominated for Best Actor 

Aftersun is only nominated for one Oscar, but it’s my favourite movie of them all. Directed and written by Scottish newcomer Charlotte Wells, it follows an 11-year-old girl on holiday in Turkey with her 30-year-old father. It’s a searingly empathetic depiction of both girlhood and fatherhood held together by dynamite performances by Frankie Corio and Paul Mescal. Aftersun is so emotionally true that watching it felt like I was viewing my own life. It’s exceptionally beautiful and equally soul-destroying. Turns out your parents are just people. 

Will it win? Look, it’s an honour just to be nominated.